My Decsion to Fish Online...

So I've decided to dip my toes into the theoritcal online dating pool and to see what there is out there in the "pond".  It was not easy to leap into this pond but with the passing of another birthday, the recent sting of a break up, and the never ending repeating phrase in my head, "Plenty of other fish in the sea!" it was time to dive into this online sea!



First, I had to overcome my own judgmental thoughts about online dating.  I had to give up on my fairy tale love story.  I had to relinquish my dreams of meeting my soul mate at work or of passing him in a crowded room. I had to accept that I might not be able to tell our grandchildren that we met in the break room; that we knew it was love at first sight  I had to accept that I am nearly 30. I had to realize that if I want to have these hypothetical grandchildren that I will need to venture outside of my office.  Especially since I have already dated two of my coworkers and I am not going to attempt a third time a charm scenario. In order to give this a fair chance, I also have to realize that love and relationships come in all sizes, packages, and more importantly.. all types of beginnings.

Second, my current methods of dating have been failing miserably.  It is time to accept that I was the practice girlfriend and I was fishing in the wrong pond.  I can only assume my friends are equally exhausted of my failed relationship attempts and my questionable judgement in men.  So why not leave it up to a computer? I mean it's based on 29 Dimensions of Compatibility.  Clearly, it has to be better than my biological and emotional reaction to a man which is based on only a few levels of compatibility and, in all honesty, it's rather one dimensional.  As I said, I am nearly 30! Time to grow up and become multidimensional!

Third, with deciding to take this step. I have to accept that my fun loving, good time girlfriends are also nearly 30 and also growing up.  The majority of my best friends are married or are getting married!  They are having children, they are getting tired before midnight, and if they do not fall into one of these groups, they are searching for their own soul mates.  They are aging too and they are tired of trolling the bars with me looking for hot available men.  They are exhausted themselves and going out on the town with me after yet another break up is taking it's toll on them too... We're getting old! Some of them are even dipping their toes into this internet sea, too.  We are all searching for our big catches!


So I have accepted these valuable truths and signed up for the dreaded and yet at the same time.. Ever so hopeful online dating scene.  I decided it is time to fish the hell out of this sea! To attempt to land the biggest bass! And to finally catch my dream king fish!

The Day My Dog Died and I Got a Black Eye...

After a quick lunch conversation revolving around the latest relationship gossip, my friend made a comment about men and their numerous excuses... We joked for awhile and I started making a list of some of the best excuses I've heard and the ones that have been given to my friends.  After a few hours of office laughs, my co-worker told me to start a blog and to start posting these fabulous and often amusing excuses.. Hence.. The Day My Dog Died and I Got a Black Eye...
So I will start this blog with my two favorite excuse so far...

1. My dog died...

My friend was given this excuse... She was told he needed a break because his dog died...

I, who am full of words, is speechless on this one... I love my dog and men have an even stranger attachment to their dogs... so in my mind if your dog died wouldn't you want some comfort? At least some sympathy action? Yeah.. Whatever.. This guy will forever go down in the history book of my life as the guy who used his dog to break up with my friend... 

2. I got a black eye and just don't want to be seen in public..

Now while a friend has backed this one up and has verified that tripping on a box and hitting a TV at the exact spot on your face that will give you a black eye is possible..  I have my own personal doubts...  After giggling at this story I thought about the probability of this excuse...
To you Mr. Black Eye... Lucky you for only hitting your face hard enough to give you a black eye but to not really doing any other type of damage. You didn't hit your chin, your forehead, your nose, or extruding part of your face? You made impact with the TV with the part of your face that is least protruding? It's a God damn miracle... Hey, next time be sure to whack your head on something else not important... like the part of your brain that made you think I was stupid enough to believe that one... and watch out for those TVs that jump out of no where and smack you in the eye...

Men Are Like Jeans

I like to think about men in terms of jeans.....
You have the pair of jeans that are out dated and no longer fit your lifestyle. (Give those to Goodwill)
The pair that you wouldnt even donate to Goodwill
The pair you try on because they're on sale... but you know they're not quite right but why not try anyway
The really expensive pair you shouldn't even mess with but you put them on your charge card and pay dearly for them later.
The comfortable pair you pull out every once and awhile.... (recycled men)  and then quickly throw back in the bottom of the drawer.
And then you hope you find that pair that you love! You wear the heck out of them! and they still look great on!

But you have to try a lot on before you find the perfect fit =D